Aimsworld

myth

READ FIRST: if you plan to read this, make sure you'll read it to the end. it's not a post of a girl gushing over some guy...seriously, read the whole thing...you'll understand why when you reach the end.

during my high school years, i would hear my older sister and her girl friends speak highly of a particular guy. they would say that he's really attractive, intelligent, kind, interesting...well, you get the picture. i mean you know how it is when girls talk about guys and describe them as if they were close to being 'the perfect' guy. i have to admit, the description caught my interest and i really wanted to know who this person really was. it is a known fact that a number of girls (including my dear sister) joined the same org he belonged to because of him and his friends (girls talaga!). since that particular university was far and i was busy with my own school activities, i never got to attend any school function my older sister would have...hence not giving me a chance to take a glimpse of this guy. finding out that he was going to graduate already i begged my sister to show me pictures of him-since i doubted that i'd be seeing him in the near future. one day, she brings home pix and what do i see? blurred side view photographs, him far from the camera and barely seen, a silhouete-too bad for me huh? a few years later, his parents became close family friends of ours...in fact, at one point, they frequented at the house we used to live in. not really being 'game' to any family-to-family interaction (unless they were the family of my friends), i could care less but i was still curious who this guy really was. on several occasions, my sister would point him out and then when i'd look, i'd see a guy with his back turned; on one account a door closing (where he supposedly entered); then on the highway, him going out of the car and exchanging seats with another guy. in short and simple language, i felt that he never existed and that it was a conspiracy that i was made to believe that such a guy ever existed. he was a myth to me and like all myths, they exist only somewhere in ones imagination-besides they are based from reality or some truth right? :) fast forward to 2005 'in a coffeeshop, in a city, like every coffeeshop in every city' (ok that came from an ani difranco song!) my sister told me to glance at my back because he was there, seated right behind me. i was hesitant to look at him. why? he was my myth, if he was less than what i have imagined him to be, i would be disappointed and if he was exactly the way i pictured him to, i might...i don't know, freak out?! i looked back and...and...ok, physically, he fit my 'myth.' hmm...let me think back again...ok, not quite but it's because he changed his hair do-ah! i met him that same night (don't ask how, it's just too funny a story or situation to relay) and i don't know what happened to me while i was talking to him. i'm a confident person but i stuttered, thought out loud (again, don't ask what i said), i couldn't wipe a smile off my face, and i sort of wasn't aware of what my actions were. just to clarify, i didn't throw myself at him or flirt! what i meant by 'not being aware of my actions' would be that i was so ashamed of 'stuttering and thinking-out-loud' that when we were going to pass in front of him, i clung for dear life at my friend. besides, my friend was making fun of what i did...his question 'nag-wala o nag-kalat ka?' which my sister replied without hesitation 'nag-kalat!' then he replied telling me 'nakakita ka lang ng gwapo nag-kalat ka na' then he laughed. i was embarassed! you know how you get weak in the knees when you get embarassed? well, that happened. ok enough of my excuses. what happens after? i was teased for changing tones everytime he called-come on people, i mean look, when you call someone, you expect the person who'd answer the phone to sound pleasant right? well, i try to sound as pleasant as i can when i answer calls...even if prior to answering i would be having a serious-leaning-towards-angry discussion with some people. why do i do that? see, i am aware that the caller wouldn't know what my current mood would be and that he/she is not part of that discussion...so why should i pass the mood to him/her right? moving on to my story...so my check list:

handsome - check
friendly - check
very helpful - check
talented - check
kind - check
interesting - check
supportive - double check
my type - hmm...leaning towards it but not quite

as i got to know him, 'my myth' was slowly transforming itself to being an ordinary person. in fact, i found myself noticing someone else as i got to know him. someone more real to me and is capable of...nevermind 'cause that's a different story (which i don't feel like sharing just yet). anyway, i found myself slowly losing the picture i had in my head of my myth. there was even a point where i was sort of annoyed at him-he's a nice guy but he's just as flawed as every other guy i would meet. then we don't really connect at certain levels...that's why even if i've known him for several months now, i'm still not comfortable to share my own stories with him. as opposed to someone i met late last year, who, in an instant, i was very comfortable with-i'm talking, things i would never relay to some of my close friends, i told him by conversation #2.

why did i suddenly make a post about this guy? you're probably thinking 'if you don't like him that way, why did you even bother to make a looong post about him? fact that you took the time to do that...' whatever matter-of-factly thought you might be thinking, keep it to yourself and let it go. :P i made this post to state a point but the reader must use their heads to understand what the lesson of this post is.

o, does my sister still think highly of this guy? no. she doesn't. why? well, minus all the color and finally seeing him in black and white...i don't really feel like explaining. maybe next time. if you get what i'm trying to say then kudos to you, you are one intelligent person. hehehe!

PART 2
yesterday, my sister and i were talking about guys who mobilize using those handsome looking bikes. for some reason, she started talking about this biker guy from (you guessed it right) her college university. she and her friends called this artist-biker dude 'swagger.' why the nickname...well obviously because he 'swaggers' and because of the way he carries or projects himself. she told me that when he would ride his bike, no matter how annoyed they are by his bearing or the way he would carry himself, they couldn't help but would secretly swoon when they'd see him riding of with his bike. so again, i could care less...until my sister said 'would you believe me if i told you that looks wise, he's a combination of _____ and _____' i'm not mentioning names but i care about these two guys and to me, they are both very attractive. question: is he my new myth? no he's not. am i curious, yes but see, i learned my lesson. i'm thinking he may be this great guy but he may not turn out to be all that to me.

i'm a fan of some of my guy friends, i'm very proud of them. they are outstanding people and are exceptionally talented at their chosen field. they are respectable and carry themselves very well. without exaggerartion, they are very attractive and can clean themselves up real nice (that is if they don't already on a daily basis). they are good people and i can just tell them anything. i connect with them at different levels and care about them. why should i try to search for wonderful guys to meet when i have friends like them? ok so the guys that i'm talking about are hmm...let's see less than 5 people? hehehe why would i want a myth?! maybe a prince charming hehehe like the way my friends are perceived by some girls. see, these guys keep me believing that in this crazy crazy world, there are still wonderful people and that i'll never know maybe the person i am looking for is out there (or here)...i wouldn't know - well, not just yet.

understand? 'til my next post, have a pleasant morning, noon, and night time-ok that came from another song...i can't help myself! :)

posted by yma @ 05:40